With Mother's Day approaching I've been thinking about motherhood a lot. I'll admit that this year I feel like Mother's Day is a big deal...and should be from here on out. Mothers, especially stay at home mothers, need a day of recognition (I know I'm tooting my own horn). They don't have a boss or co-workers that recognize their performance. They don't get a bonus based on a great review. They don't have work parties to go to. In general a lot of people don't recognize what they do as hard. I had my first experience with this the other day at the bank. The teller asked me if I had to work that day. I said no and that I am a stay at home mother. He gave me the most degrading look I'd ever seen. He had no respect for what I do and he thought that I just stayed at home doing nothing everyday. Although I don't "do" a lot each day I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted at the end of each day!
I have never fully appreciated my own mother until I became a mother. I think my appreciation will increase each year as I go through my own struggles with motherhood. I never realized how challenging it would be. I love my mom soooooo much! She is my best girlfriend in the whole world. I love that she validates me. She helps me feel like what I am going through and feeling is normal and acceptable. She can relate to me and understands me. I feel blessed to have that in my life. I know that not all mother/daughter relationships are ideal and feel so lucky that I have a good relationship with my mom. I hope that I can have a relationship like that with my own daughter.
My mom is fun! She can make me laugh harder than almost anyone. She is an amazing grandma. Lexi is so lucky to have a grandma that is so kind and loving. She goes out of her way to plan fun activities to do with her grandchildren. She is always trying to do something special for them. I don't know many grandma's that do as much for their grandchildren as my mom.
My mom is extremly forgving and patient. She always gives people the benefit of the doubt. My favorite thing to do with my mom is talk. Maybe it is because we are a lot alike. She is the perfect mother for me because she knows how to comfort me. Everyone comforts differently and everyone needs different types of comfort. I am lucky that my moms "comfort style" is perfect for me.
When I was little I was extremly afraid of fires. One night I had a nightmare that my moms sewing machine caught on fire. When I woke up I was terrified. I went into my moms bedroom to tell her. She got out of bed with me to go downstairs to check to make sure the sewing machine wasn't on fire. She loved me enough to get out of bed in the middle of the night to help relieve my fear so I could go back to bed. I've always remembered that and it means a lot to me.
Motherhood has been such a new experience for me. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I'm loving it and want more and more children...the next minute I don't know how I'm going to make it another minute. I think it is easy to feel like a failure because you're used to being able to control things but you can't control your children. It is a hard lesson to learn. Even at such a young age they have agency and their own personalities. They come predisposed to certain things. You are constantly trying to teach them.
Lexi has changed my life forever. I am grateful my prayers were fianlly answered and she came into my life. I always refer to her as my gift. She is my special gift from Heavenly Father. He knew what I wanted...and needed and he sent her to me. I can't tell you how many prayers I prayed asking for her or how many tears I shed asking for her. I was thrilled when I found out she was a girl. I am so grateful for her smile. She is a good girl and lots of fun.
I am thankful for all of the women in my life. I am thankful for my Grandmas, Aunts, Mother in-law, and friends. They have all impacted my life and I love them and admire them. Happy Mother's Day!
