Life

Being a Mom is such a roller coaster.  It is so hard but at times it is so wonderful.  I feel like most of the time I am stuck in the so hard part but hope as my kids get a little older I will deal with things better.  I want to be better at documenting more of the day to day of my life.  Not just the big events in hopes that it can be of more benefit for future generations.  This week has been hard because preschool and dance are over for the summer.  My heart aches at the thought of Lexi going to school and not being my little girl anymore.  She still says I am her best friend and loves me.  I know that won't always be the case and it is so hard to realize.  I feel like I've failed her and missed out on so much.  I didn't enjoy it all enough or teach her enough.  Despite my failings she is such a great girl.  I am so lucky to have her.  She is helpful, happy, kind, creative, and smart.  It has been a challenging week because the kids have had major boredom issues.  The beginning of the week Carter started on a biting rampage and left Lexi with several bite marks.  I have tried every form of discipline with him and have yet to find something that works.  After the increase in biting I tried to never leave the kids alone and provide more things for them to do.  Well, even after all of that all I heard all week was fighting and complaining of boredom and what a mean Mom I am.  I am so burnt out and it is only the beginning of the summer.  I hope we all make it.  On the positive side Trevor has been napping much better and in his crib so that has helped me have some freedom to get things done and play with the older two.  This stage of life is so hard on marriage.  We never have time to even talk to each other.  The minute Cole comes in the door everyone wants his attention and I usually hand him the baby as well so I can make dinner.  Dinner is a battle we spend trying to get the kids to eat and so we still don't talk.  By the time the kids are in bed I go to bed because I am getting to little sleep with the baby waking up so we still don't talk.  Before you know it it's been a week and we still haven't even heard how life is going for each other.  I am always burnt out.  So there you have it.  The truth.  Life is good but life is also hard.  Each stage has its rewards and challenges.